Creating With My Negative Thoughts.

Updated: May 19

Years ago I was working in a shop. I wasn’t feeling very good within myself at the time. My self-worth was a bit depleted, my energy was low and I felt very flat.

During this emotional slump I started to feel very unappreciated at work. I felt like no one saw all the effort I went to. Nobody thanked me for what I was contributing. I felt unloved.

I decided to take a holiday to visit some friends and told them stories about my work and how I had been treated from my point of view.

They asked, “Why don’t you confront them?” And I pondered,“because deep down I don’t think it is them, I think it is a reflection of the way I feel inside.”

I thought if I could manage to tune into the feeling I would turn around the circumstance.

But on my 6 hour drive home I began to think, "What if they are right?"

So while I drove alone at 110kms along the highway I mulled it over in my head...

"What happens if I tell them how mad and upset I am from their actions?"

My mind started imagining what would happen if I confronted them. It went on and on and on.

The momentum of negativity picked up and took a hold of me. The dialog got worse and worse. I made myself so mad!

The story was spiralling deeper and deeper into the emotion of injustice and feeling a victim to circumstance. It became very disempowering and heavy, which turned to more blame - because of course I’m not doing this to myself. Right?

The story had a complete hold over me. It was as clear as day. I was the victim to an injustice and they needed to fix it, and I was going to feel this way until it was made right. I was going to stay in this feeling so I was safe with walls up around my heart.

Then out of nowhere, I hit a bird!

I was still driving 110kms an hour, in the middle of nowhere on a long Queensland road, and the bird flew straight into my windscreen. It was killed instantly and the bang was loud. The shock, massive.

I pulled into an empty truck stop shaking uncontrollably. The impact rattled me so much it snapped me out of my negative rampage.

I felt a mess. But the shock distracted me from my thoughts enough to put a stop to them.

I got out of the car, still shaking, and had this overwhelming feeling and deep understanding of what I was creating with my negative thoughts.

I took some really deep breathes and calmed myself and made a declaration.

“I am going to appreciate myself more.”

“I am going to be kinder to myself more.”

“I am going to love myself more.”

I slowly calmed down. I came back to the power I have within me to create the love I am looking for in the world around me.

Then and there, I changed the disempowered feeling around.

I imagined kind responses. I pictured beautiful things about myself and the way I show up in my world. I created scenes in my mind of being treated with love - just the way I like. I turned my thoughts to gently nurture myself as I do others.

I started to get back in my car to leave the deserted road stop, miles from the next town, when a car pulled in.

It was the people I worked with in the shop!!

Can you guess what they said to me?

"Hello Shelley, how are you?"

"We have just been picking up some new stock. Would you like to try some? We would love to know what you think!

"Are you hungry? We have all these snacks to share.

"Are you thirsty? We have all these delicious drinks to share.

"We love you! We look forward to seeing you back at work."

I aligned myself with love.

I aligned myself to receive love.

The Law of attraction. I can not deny it.

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